HOW TO PREPARE FOR A PUPPY
*Pour cold apple juice on
the carpet in several places and walk around
Barefoot in the dark
*Wear a sock to work that has had the
toes shredded by a blender.
*Immediately upon waking, stand
outside in the rain and dark saying, "Be
A good puppy and go potty-hurry up now
-- come on, let us go.
*Cover all of your best suits with dog
hair. Dark suits must have white
Hair and light suits must have dark. In
addition, some hair must be in your first
Cup of morning coffee
*Play catch with a wet tennis ball.
*Run out in the snow in your bare feet
to close the gate
*Tip over a basket of clean laundry,
scatter clothing all over the
Floor. Taking care to shred at least
one of each pair of socks. [See above]
*When the doorbell rings drop your
dirty underwear on the living room
Floor, because that is where the pup
will drag it anyway after all, company
Is coming.
*Jump out of your chair shortly before
the end of your favorite TV show
And run to the door shouting, "No, NO!
Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of
The program.
*Gouge the leg of the dining room table
several times with a screwdriver.
*Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in
the morning, and
a Badger Free Zone!!!
